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Tuesday, October 26, 2010 @ 12:29 AM
This home is no longer the home that i felt it was in the past. it was just a place for me to sleep, bathe and rest. If life were to stay on like this until i get married, i may suffocate to death one day. No one truly understands how stressful i am. Friendship, Ex-bf, studies, family, work, money issues. I put on a smile on my faces doesnt mean i have no problems. doesnt mean im not stress. Doesnt mean im a happy girl. I always have that smile is because i dont want any of the people who care about me to worry about me. Im very stress. Really stress. Nobody understands. but guess what, my mom and godmother just added somemore comments into my brain. hoohaaa.... Studies more important or work? so im their so called cheap labour? I studied so hard, scored well for tests and exams for them to have some attention on me. But what i got in return was a "OH OKAY". It made me had that thought of giving up since i tried so hard and get "oh okay" as a reward. I dont put that sad face everytime as i dont want people to think im still not over my ex bf and they'll start worrying about me. I didnt want any of you to worry of me. Apparently, im not over him yet. i need more time. i still miss him so much, so bloody much. i fucking stupid to miss him, i know. but i just cant help it. i dont know if i should be a good person by always giving in or be a self centered person. i really tried so hard. until now, when i cry, i'll always have migraines. I have to conclude that IM NOT OKAY.. |
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